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How Can I Stop Worrying?

Updated: Apr 19, 2023

I used to be a professional worrier, always feeling troubled, tense, and nervous, but I eventually found a solution in meditation. Today, I am happy, and I don't worry much. In this article, I would like to share my story and insights.


First, I want to say that worries are not necessarily bad. Worries and troubles are an opportunity for us to grow because they make us seek a change within ourselves. This was the case for me. I used to worry about every little thing, and it drove me crazy. I had so much anxiety and constantly catastrophized about every event or decision I had to make.

Treat your worries with meditation.

Since my life was so painful, I tried many different things to find peace within. I read self-help books, attended therapy sessions, went to boot camps, and went on retreats. I also tried to improve my environment by changing jobs, learning new skills, and meeting new people. However, none of this provided a solution for me. I felt discouraged and thought that there must be something wrong with me. However, later I came to realize that my problem was that I didn't understand the underlying mechanisms of a worrying mind.


It wasn't until I started meditating that I finally got a handle on my constant worries. When I meditated, it suddenly clicked in my mind, and I found the key to understanding my problem.


Worries are essentially one or both of these things:


(i) The subconscious mind of inferiority (the underlying thought pattern that I'm not good enough or that I can't make it).


and/or


(ii) The subconscious mind of greed/wants (the underlying mind that always looks for more, that is never satisfied).


Inferiority makes us believe that we won't be able to handle the situations that life throws at us. This makes us nervous and tense. In addition, we often also strive to compensate for our inferiority by trying to be the best or having very high expectations of ourselves, which in turn makes it difficult for us to relax.


I separated greed as a bullet point, but it is actually also an aspect of inferiority. Greed makes us believe that we must constantly have more and reach higher; otherwise, we have failed as individuals. With this mindset, we are never content and always feel lacking, and we make a big deal out of failing or when things don’t go according to plan.


So, with inferiority and greed in our minds, we are very prone to worrying. We take ourselves too seriously, which makes it impossible to live a happy life under these conditions. The solution is to free our minds from these root causes. How can we do that?


Don’t resist it


As worriers, we are in constant inner conflict with ourselves. Since we don’t want to experience worry (we want to appear cool, right?), we label it as “wrong” and subconsciously deny it and try to push it away. Acting in this way is not helpful at all. On the contrary, it means that we stay in, and even increase, our suffering; it’s not possible to let go of worries if we deny them to ourselves.


Instead of suppressing and denying worries, allow them. Instead of labeling them as wrong or undesirable, just let them hit you. Worry as much as you can. Embrace the worries. Love the worries. Allow every catastrophic scenario to play itself out in your mind. Allow yourself to go crazy. By changing your attitude like this, you will start to let go of that inner resistance. It will be easier for you to see your mind, and you will also stop being scared of your negative thoughts.


As you allow worries like this, you will begin to see them from a different perspective, and you will discover that they are just expressions of your deeply rooted inferiority and greed. When you start to see this, you are ready to go deeper. Admit to yourself that you have a lot of inferiority and greed, and let those thoughts come up. You’ll be amazed at how self-centered the mind is. It constantly revolves around the ‘self.’


As you do this, you will gradually start to accept all aspects of yourself, even the dark and undesirable ones. This is very liberating and will automatically lessen your burdens because you no longer have anything to hide from yourself.


Start meditating


The reason why we worry is - simply put - that we carry worries in our minds; these worries stem from our subconscious feelings of inferiority and greed. The only definite solution is to clear the mind from these thoughts. Therefore, I recommend that everyone meditates with a method that allows us to empty our mind, i.e. the method taught by, among others, Stockholm Meditation.


Meditation is a very enlightening and gratifying process. As I meditated, I started to see myself from a new perspective, from which I was able to root out inferiority and greed. I gradually changed. I became content and happy. I accepted that I couldn’t control everything, I developed trust that things happen for the best, and I stopped comparing myself to others. The things that used to be so ‘important’ weren’t important anymore. I realized that I had lived inside a drama that only I cared about. So dumb and futile!

Find relief from worries with meditation. Stockholm Meditation provides guided meditation.

Since then, my life has become much easier, more joyful, and less dramatic. I focus on my own things, but I can also ask for help when I need it. I can appreciate others without being jealous, and I work more effectively and can handle problems in a wise and sober way. I just live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow.


It’s important to remember that this is a process (like everything else in life). Meditation is something we need to do over an extended period of time because our minds are so deep-layered. Although tedious from time to time, the process is beautiful because we get to know ourselves well.


Looking back at it, I can see that my mind, once fraught with worry, has brought me to this point. For that, I am deeply grateful. I now recognize how everything is perfect as it is.


Michael

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