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How do I Go About Forgiving?

Updated: Apr 19, 2023

Injustices are painful. They take up a lot of thinking power. We may manage to push them away and forget, but they are there and make us very vulnerable to the slightest reminder.

A life with a mind free from vices is infinitely more pleasant than a life containing them. Carrying hurt feelings only causes suffering, so if there is a way to forgive, wouldn't you choose it?

This choice is important. If I'm not willing to at least try to forgive, the only option is likely to continue to suffer until the pain is so great that I become willing.

An injustice is a combination of thoughts and feelings in my mind. The offense was triggered by me being treated in a way that I consider unacceptable. My thoughts and feelings revolve around this "error". We can thus identify the wrong as a kind of mind figure - a mass of thoughts and feelings - inside our mind.

How can I forgive?

What then is forgiveness? Forgiveness occurs when our mind has released the negative thoughts and feelings associated with the person or event around which the offense revolves. When we can think of the person in question without feeling any grudge within us, forgiveness is complete. (This should not be misunderstood to mean that we need to think that what the person has done is ok; what it means is that we just no longer attach any painful negativity to it.)

Forgiveness can be achieved through meditation.

  1. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Think about the event and the person who has committed the injustice.

  2. There will now arise thoughts and feelings of anger, hatred and sadness. Leave them alone without doing anything. Familiarize yourself with them. Welcome them. Don't resist. Breathe calmly. Do this for 10 minutes. If it feels too hard, you can do it in a shorter time.

  3. Finish by taking a few deep breaths and saying thank you within.

Do this every day. Over time, you will notice that the negative thoughts associated with the person lose strength. As this happens, wisdom will come to you if something further needs to happen, such as making contact with the person in question.

Depending on the nature of the event and the people involved, forgiveness takes different forms. In some cases, it can lead to a reattached contact and even the forming of stronger bonds. In another case, it simply means that I can move on in life without constantly dwelling on the past or getting upset every time a person or event is mentioned.

It is much easier to do meditation if you have help. It is therefore recommended to visit a meditation center. Stockholm Meditation provides personally guided meditation every day. Read more at


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