Most of us carry a bad conscience and regret certain events in life. It can range from not being there for someone in their difficult times, not saying "I love you" before the person passed and not being grateful or showing appreciation to others to missing out on opportunities in life because of fears, such as to turn down a job offer or take a chance on love.
The reason we have these feelings is because we are self-centered and carry a lot of pride. When we live for ourselves, we will inevitably end up in situations of the kind mentioned above. When our pride is hurt, it hurts too much to handle and we try to push away, forget, or "fix" ourselves in various ways. However, it never gets "fixed" that way.
What we can remember here is that guilt is in a way a good thing because we can grow from it if we deal with it in the right way. However, if we do nothing about them, they have no value. There is no end in itself in carrying guilt and shame. For some people, guilt can become a way to justify or blame failures in life or a way to avoid facing the fear of moving forward in life. It's not good.
The best way to get rid of guilt while learning from our mistakes is to fully accept the guilt, not to recoil from it, not to rationalize or justify it, but to welcome it and then let it go.
Sit down. Close your eyes. See the events that cause the discomfort in you. The memories play like video clips in your mind. At the same time, strong feelings of shame and guilt can arise. Don't shy away from these. Let them come. Be brave. Let the images and the feelings associated with the images be sucked into a black hole or burn up in a fire.
This can be painful at first. So do it carefully and a little at a time. Gradually, however, the feelings of guilt will gradually disappear at the same time as humility, warmth and gratitude appear. We have now grown as people and no longer suffer from the guilty conscience, while we will not act in the same way again.
I recommend meditating at a meditation center with personal guidance. It is effective when you have a guide to help. Stockholm Meditation offers free introductions and trials. Check it out.
Lots of love,
Michael
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