The secret to staying calm in difficult situations is not to be stuck in negative thought patterns or too fixed frames.
If we imagine that we have a whiteboard, we can draw both something beautiful and something ugly on it. For the whiteboard, it doesn't matter what we draw on it. The painting has no concept of beauty or ugliness. It has - in other words - no frame of mind that judges or clings to either one or the other. Instead, the board remains unaffected and free regardless of what is drawn on it.
We humans, on the other hand, cling to frameworks of good and bad. It is how we look at and act in the world. We seek the "good" and avoid the "bad". When we consider something beautiful or desirable, we strive to obtain it. When we consider something ugly or undesirable, we do everything we can to avoid it.
No matter how hard we try, there will always be things in the world that go against our notions of what is good or right. That's life. The world will never fit our imaginations. If we continue to let our frames dictate how we should feel in every situation, we will find ourselves on a constant inner roller coaster. It is a natural consequence of such a mindset. In the long run, we risk ending up in hopelessness or madness, at least when many, in our opinion, "bad" or "terrible" things happen.
Actually, the blame for our suffering is not the world as such, or what happens in it, but ourselves, our own reaction to it. There are probably some who say that there is not much that can be done about this, because it is our human nature to judge the world according to our standards and that we should, under all circumstances, strive to make the world better.
Although it is correct that everyone has their standards, it helps if we try to see things from a larger perspective. From an objective point of view, nothing is inherently good or bad. "Good and bad" exist only as concepts in our mind world. This means that if we could break the framework of these beliefs (break free from our mind world), we would undoubtedly see the world in a different way. We would be free. Now the question arises, is it possible and if so how?
There is a way. It takes time and requires patience, but it works. I am of course talking about meditation. By meditating we empty the mind of thoughts, concepts, stress and suffering. By clearing the mind of this clutter of mind concepts, our mind gradually regains its original form which is free of thoughts and concepts.
In the empty mind, intuition, wisdom and action unite in what we can call the flow of nature. Instead of following our concepts and thoughts, we follow the flow of nature. In this flow there are no blockages or suffering, so we can easily adapt to situations that challenge us. Our mind becomes flexible and we stop labeling difficulties as "difficulties" or "obstacles". You can say that difficulties cease to exist and we find the way forward in a different way, without getting stuck in suffering or regret. When we discover this, we have at the same time made the world better because we have gained access to a greater intelligence.
These days, there are many people who meditate and realize everything this blog post talks about. I'm quite certain that it is only a matter of time until the old ways of looking at world, i.e. with a mind full of concepts, no longer will feel meaningful to people. Instead, we will empty our minds and act with wisdom, in accordance with nature's flow.
Start to meditate. Practice diligently and honestly, and I dare promise you that you will find a completely new - and beautiful - way of seeing the world and living your life.
Michael