The Art of Planting a Seed – Guiding Without Control

To guide someone in meditation is to show the way — the method, the direction, the encouragement — but the work itself is always done by the practitioner. A guide walks beside, not ahead. One of the challenges of this role is learning how to support someone without unintentionally causing harm.

That might sound strange — why would a guide offend anyone? Of course, they shouldn’t. But it’s a delicate balance, because meditation is, at its heart, the practice of letting go of the ego. Sometimes, a guide may need to gently highlight a person’s pride, defensiveness, or stubborn attachments. When done with genuine care, and only for the sake of helping someone see themselves more clearly, it can be transformative. But it must be done with great sensitivity.

For this to be possible, the guide must first let go of all judgment. Only when words come from a clear and sincere mind can they be received without resistance. This is the difference between guiding and criticizing.

But non-judgment alone is not enough. A guide must also release the expectation of being listened to. The value of guidance isn’t found in whether someone follows it. In truth, guiding is itself a kind of meditation — a practice in letting go of the ego, even while leading. No one stands above anyone else. We are all walking the same path, with the same aim: to gradually shed the self and come closer to truth.

Speaking for myself, I’ve never liked being told what to do. But when someone who truly had my best interests at heart offered me honest advice — even if it struck a nerve — I’ve often, eventually, felt grateful. Often much later. Often with quiet embarrassment.

I believe this is a universal principle. Real communication and sincere care only become possible when we let go of our inner demands about how others ought to be. That’s the difference between trying to control — and walking side by side.

This is how we plant seeds — and grow together.

Michael