Most of us have one or more relationships that are not good. Most often it is our close relationships such as our parents, our partner or our children.
When these relationships become too painful, we often turn to some method for help, such as therapy or meditation.
The important thing is to understand that in most cases the problem with a bad relationship lies in the idea that I am right and the other person is wrong. We try to heal the relationship based on this paradigm, perhaps by trying different arguments or methods. But the truth is that a relationship won't change until I change myself. Change happens when I look inward and can see myself.
Through meditation - which is introspection - we will be able to see that we are controlled by a multitude of emotions that are not always so fun to admit to ourselves. Many who meditate find that they are fundamentally governed by one or more of these thoughts and feelings in relation to other people.
The belief that I am right and that the other person is wrong.
Expectations
Stereotypes
Pride
Inferiority complex
Jealousy
Fears
When we can discover how these thoughts and feelings control us, the next step is to throw them away. As they disappear, they cease to control our behavior. We now have the opportunity to change ourselves.
When we change, the relationship will also change. In many cases, the relationship improves because we can now accept both ourselves and the other person. For example, when we stop feeling envy towards someone, we stop at the same time with such behavior that envy gives rise to, such as trying to prove ourselves, trying to hide our weaknesses, bitterness, etc. When we have fundamentally changed ourselves in this way, the relationship cannot possibly remain unchanged. We will much more easily be able to be honest and cordial with the person in question and the relationship will grow from there.
Of course, it is not the case that meditation always leads to a better relationship. However, meditation gives us wisdom on how to handle a situation. Perhaps we have chosen to stay in a destructive relationship because deep down we believe we cannot cope on our own. When we can let go of such feelings of inferiority, we can also find the strength within us to end the unhealthy relationship.
Please read more about the benefits of meditation at www.stockholmmeditation.se
Michael