The Darkness Within

There is a darkness in all of us. I have seen it in others, and I have seen it in myself. At times it is stark and frightening; at other times it lingers like a faint shadow in the background. But it is there, until we dare to meet it.

That darkness takes many forms: anger, hatred, self-loathing, harsh judgment, loneliness, bitterness, hopelessness, and self-righteousness.

For some, it is a constant companion; for others, it appears only now and then. Some of us fight to hold it at bay, while others are consumed by it. It is heavy to carry and difficult to manage. We often feel shame about these states—so much so that we may refuse to acknowledge them at all.

Meditation offers a different way to engage with them. Through practice we turn inward, recognize what we are actually carrying, and let it release, gradually, at our own pace. In doing so, a transformation unfolds: anger and hatred soften into acceptance and understanding; judgment yields to empathy; loneliness settles into inner stillness; bitterness gives way to self-kindness; hopelessness turns into trust, and self-righteousness into humility.

The journey is not always pleasant. Facing one’s own darkness can feel as if the entire inner landscape is shaking. In the years I have guided meditation, I have seen some people stop precisely at this point, when the mind begins to move and what has been suppressed rises to the surface. My task as a guide is to remind them that this is a good sign. It means something is loosening. When the darkness comes up, it is also on its way out.

When it does release, a lightness and clarity arrive that many have never experienced. Things come into focus; the mind grows quiet; trust deepens—trust in oneself, in the method, and in life. Then one naturally wishes to continue, step by step, with this work that ultimately concerns freeing oneself. I can support and guide, but the work itself must be done by each person: to practice regularly, to be honest with oneself, and to dare to see what is there. Denial or avoidance only leaves it in place.

This journey, in some sense, awaits all of us. I dislike the language of “should” and “must,” yet once we recognize that thoughts and feelings are not the whole of reality, continuing the meditation becomes almost inevitable. Why would we cling to darkness when there is a clear path out of it?

At its core, meditation is the discovery of who we are. There is a treasure within us that is waiting to be lived. Meditation helps us find it—step by step.

Michael