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How do I Stop Hating?

I used to feel a lot of hatred. Often, I spent my days walking around hating everything and everyone. If someone had treated me badly, for example, I would want to exact a terrible revenge. I had incredibly dark thoughts. So much hatred!

Where the hatred comes from

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Hatred comes from feelings of inferiority, greed, laziness, and powerlessness. The more we have of these feelings, the more likely we are to hate. We demand a lot from life, but when we feel we do not have the capacity or drive to create such a life, we become angry and frustrated. It is not really other people we hate. Because we are dissatisfied with ourselves, we actually hate ourselves. However, we do not want to see or take responsibility for this. Instead, we let the hatred be directed outward, contaminating everything in our path: those we think are better than us, those we look down on, those who have the same weaknesses as us, society, norms, groups, trends, politicians, celebrities. No one is safe from our hatred.

It starts with ourselves. It is easy to see. On days when we are happy with ourselves, there are no thoughts of hatred. We just want to embrace others, right? But when we are not satisfied with ourselves, we easily revert to hating. It seems easier to hate than to actually do something about our situation. In my opinion, this applies to everything negative in the human mind, such as anger, depression, anxiety, etc. We seem to prefer to be unhappy because it gives us an excuse not to do what we need to do, namely to take responsibility for our our state of mind, work on it, and move on.

Letting go of hatred

There are many different ways to work with one's hatred. For me, meditation worked very well. Meditation is an introspective process through which we look inward to find out what is there and let it go. When we release the negativity we hold onto in our minds, we naturally begin to feel lighter and happier inside.

It is particularly good to become aware of all the times in life when we have felt inferior, jealous, or generally dissatisfied with ourselves. These memories are full of negative associations, and when we look back at ourselves, these associations manifest as strongly negative feelings, such as hatred or anger. When they arise in the mind, it is time to get rid of them. We can let them disappear like smoke or burn them in a fire using the meditation method. As we practice this, we become aware of how much junk we actually have in our minds. Sometimes it feels endless. But if we practice continuously, our minds become more peaceful and we begin to have the ability to move on.

Another important thing is to become aware of the demands we place on ourselves. Often, these demands can be unreasonably high, leading to frustration. Through meditation, we can become aware of these and release the attachments to them as well. This does not mean that we become passive or stop pursuing our dreams, it just means that we can better accept our current situation without constantly living in the feeling of inadequacy.

When we empty the mind in this way, we begin to accept ourselves as we are. The next step naturally follows, which is to allow ourselves to actually love ourselves. (I say "allow ourselves" because we have been so used to hating ourselves that the very idea of loving ourselves may seem absurd at first.)

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The love we feel for ourselves is not a boastful, loud, or prideful love, it is a tender and accepting love because it comes from true self-esteem, the source. This realization awakens a humble desire to grow and develop into a better person. We want to learn new things, encourage and help others, and contribute value to the world. It is a beautiful process. Slowly we begin to bloom. Gradually, hatred stops consuming our time and energy and we start focusing on positive things in life.


Meditation is a process through which an inner transformation occurs. Meditate daily, but - very importantly! - do not forget to act. What I mean by acting is to make an effort to learn new things, help others, take care of others, and generally work in a direction guided by your inner wisdom and newfound self-love and self-acceptance.

I procrastinated on taking action for too long. Due to my laziness, I meditated thinking it alone would take care of everything, but it is not enough. Acting is crucial for us to be able to achieve deep inner change. Only then can we grow, become completely free from hatred, and develop into truly beautiful people.


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