With humility and respect for my own journey and everyone else’s, I would like to share my experience of going through life—and a war—with meditation.
It has been almost seven years since I discovered this meditation, three years since I moved to the Middle East, more than a year since the war broke out on October 7, 2023, and now a month of ceasefire. Nothing is certain, and life should never be taken for granted. The only thing I can lean on is the true Universe, God, or whatever you choose to call it. :)
Never in my life have I experienced so much pain and fear, but also so much inner healing and love. People ask me almost every day how I can choose to live in such a chaotic place on earth when I have the option to live in Sweden.
Believe me, I ask myself that often too. But it is not a rational decision; it is a decision from the heart, beyond the mind. I don’t think I would be where I am today without this meditation, and I don’t think I could have gone through this war without it either. I remember moments after October 7—in a rainy garden in Italy after my son had fallen asleep, crying my heart out on the phone, being guided to face and release the horrifying images that had entered my mind.
On the steps of my parents’ house, gathering courage before returning to Israel two months later. In an underground shelter while 300 missiles flew overhead, with my three-year-old son dressed as Superman, feeling like I would never forgive myself for being here. In a valley in Thailand after receiving terror alerts for an island we had left the day before, or at Bangkok airport, halfway to our main center in South Korea. I never made it there, but meditation has been with me every day and literally everywhere.
When we meditate, we release images from our past, present, and future to cleanse our mind, body, and soul. Everything we experience from the moment we are born affects how we see and experience life. The way I experience the smell of rain will be different from how you do, and the way I enjoy the sound of thunder as well. I used to love that sound, but after hearing quite a few explosions in the sky last year, my perception changed.
What creates trauma for one person may not create trauma for another. Without going into neuroscience, that’s simply how it works. The cells in our brain and body are full of information, memories, and images, and the deeper they are stored, the more limited we become in living our truth and living freely. When we bring these images up to our consciousness, we not only face the images themselves but also the emotions and experiences that come with them. We give them space, as many times as needed, and we let them go, as many times as needed. Over time, we become less separate from our true self, from others, and from the true Universe/God.
Before starting this meditation, I tried many other ways to heal. Thanks to my history with anxiety, I never gave up, and with respect and gratitude for everything else that has supported my journey, I am so grateful I found this method. I still don’t fully understand it, and sometimes I even doubt it, but in the end, it has never harmed me—only helped me through the hardest moments of my life.
I won’t try to convince anyone to practice this meditation. I can only share and maybe inspire. Everyone has their own journey, and all I can do is continue to let go of my own images and habits and trust that every good thing comes in its right time. Amen and gamsahamnida (thank you in Korean).
Malin
Comments