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The Grudge

Writer's picture: HildurHildur

Everyone understands what a grudge feels like. It’s that burning sensation that grips your stomach and mind, the shadow of anger from the past. A grudge can feel like a sharp sting in your stomach or like a field of fire blazing through your entire body. Grudges stem from anger and resentment. According to surveys, around 80% of people experience them. A person can carry a grudge for many years, and for some, it lasts a lifetime.


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The physical effects of a grudge are vast and numerous. Studies have shown that the stress caused by grudges and resentment can lead to a variety of health problems, such as heart issues, high blood pressure, weakened immunity, and mental health issues like increased anxiety and depression. If this is true, it begs the question: why do we hold on to them?


As with many things, the mind can be destructive to its owner. We all do things at times that we know are bad for us, but I’m not sure we fully realize just how much resentment and grudges can impact us. Thinking about the past and reliving the events that upset us in the first place can feel very real. Sometimes, the entire conversation or event feels so vivid in our minds that we can describe it in great detail. But what are these memories, and why do they feel so real, even though they happened years or even decades ago?


The human body works like a camera, recording everything around us. It remembers pain, words, people, and environments. It stores these “movies” inside and replays them in our heads, sometimes on a loop.


A Personal Story of Grudge


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Recently, I spoke with a good friend who admitted he couldn’t forgive what had happened to his child a few years ago. The injustice he felt and his anger had been immense at the time. The helplessness he felt as a father overwhelmed him. Even though some years had passed, his body still showed physical symptoms when he talked about it—stiffness in his fingers and back. He had no way to release his anger, so he began directing it at society, politics, his parents, and even the government. He believed his anger was justified.


Gradually, he became less rigid, both in his mind and body. I asked him if he was willing to let go of his anger. He hesitated and said, “You mean… I should forgive?” I explained that forgiveness is not about justifying what happened. It’s about letting go. Forgiving doesn’t mean saying, “I approve of what they did, said, or what happened.” It’s about being able to release it, to let it go into the past and leave it behind. The event is now nothing more than a movie playing in his mind, and no one else truly knows his anger. Few people even remember it.


The Power of Meditation and Letting Go


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He decided to meditate and focus on releasing that anger from his mind. Immediately, he felt better. As soon as we release anger from our minds through meditation, our minds and bodies become lighter. The connection between mind and body is stronger than we often realize—they are one. Reflecting on the past and releasing it, bit by bit, can have great health benefits and improve overall well-being.


I believe that people who can let go of their past are some of the most successful people on earth. Their minds are brighter, and they light up everything around them. Who wouldn’t want to be part of that group?


Hildur

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